Deep in my heart there is a yearning for more. A yearning to dance barefoot in the rain, to smell the earth as I pull roots from the ground, to fully feel and embrace the seasons and to explore the time old traditions of plant medicine.
This pull has always been a strong part of me, however, in the last few years my life has somehow become the complete opposite of this. Two years ago, we moved away from our home, which we loved, to try and get ahead financially. In the process of trying to sort out our finances, I lost sight of everything else that feeds my soul. As I write this, I sit in the media room of a lovely, yet typical suburban home. My children are staring at screens whilst eating packaged breakfast cereals. I have spent the better part of the week cleaning walls and windows with zero adult interaction while my husband works away. This existence feels robotic. Each day it feels as if I just go through the motions of doing the tasks that need to be done, adhering to the schedules of my children and going along with the expectations set forth in our modern, busy, wasteful society. At times I feel the world closing in on me, anxiety takes hold and I have to escape to the mountains just to remind myself that I'm alive.
Maybe I watched too much 'little house on the prairie' as a child, but when I look at my children, I'm filled with guilt. I know deep in my soul that my choices are failing them, stealing from their childhood which is disappearing faster than I could ever have imagined. The worst part is that I know better. I know what's good and wholesome and yet MY children are addicted to technology and fast food and being constantly entertained. I'm raising consumers instead of creators, takers instead of givers, observers instead of doers. The parent I swore I'd never become is the person who stares back at me in the mirror. I find myself feeling helpless as our lives get further and further from my ideals.
This blog is about my journey to reawaken the wild spirit within both my children, my husband and more importantly, myself. To create a life that feels 'alive' and in alignment with what I know is right for us. One that is rich in simplicity, natural beauty and creativity. This is a place where I hope to merge the stirrings of my soul with our everyday lives and document the story of our lives whichever way the journey unfolds. I know my story is not unique and there no doubt have been countless before and will be untold after me who will experience the same struggle to live a meaningful life. Nonetheless, this is our story...so let the adventure begin.